Celebrating the Horndog Within...by Ethan Stone

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately, particularly in what I want to be as an author. You see, a few weeks ago, I was at the GayRomLit retreat in Albuquerque. At GRL I was free to be myself. I was able to express myself as a gay man in whatever way I wanted. Be it hold the hand of the wonderful guy I spent the weekend with or flirt with other men. I want to find a way to be myself as an author as well.

As an author I’ve been trying to find a balance in the amount of sex in my stories. Cristian Flesh, the main character in my Flesh series, is a cop who is unapologetically gay. He loves sex and owns it. In the first book, In the Flesh, his sexual adventures get him into a bit of trouble when a one-night stand ends up murdered and Cristian is the main suspect. The murder victim also happens t be connected to a former fuck buddy of Cristian’s. Cristian doesn’t form relationships easily so his relationship with lawyer Colby Maddox begins with sex.

Each sex scene between Colby and Cristian shows bits of Cristian’s personality and secrets. His reluctance to top is part of his past because he saw topping as being in control. And with sex Cristian didn’t want to be in control. He wanted to submit; he needed to submit. And as his relationship with Colby progressed he learned that he could enjoy sex and take control at the same time. The Flesh series required a lot of sex. It’s part of Cristian’s character that couldn’t be ignored.

I wrote Wolf Moon right after In the Flesh had been accepted by Dreamspinner. I was still high on the idea that my story was going to be published and thought sex was one of the most important things in m/m novels. I admit I wrote too many sex scenes in Wolf Moon. I had wanted to show that Jack and Derek had a strong connection from the minute they met. I used sex in an attempt to show their bond. And all that added up to way too many sex scenes. If I had been a reader, I would’ve skimmed through the scenes. I learned that when it comes to showing a couple’s bond I had to use more than just steamy sex scenes. Apparently, sexting, blow jobs on a hot air balloon ride and hot romping in a bath tub only work to show lust not love.

And after several comments about my stories having too much sex I began to be self conscious about the amount I wrote. So I began to purposely have less in each story.

In my next novel, Subject 13, I tried to make the scenes between Luke and Ben have a purpose while also being sexy and romantic. Luke and Ben have a combustible relationship as friends, mainly because they are both denying they want each other like crazy. Before they admit their attraction, Luke and Ben have several arguments that turn physical when Ben has to hold Luke down. When they finally admit their feelings and begin a relationship their sexual relationship has the same physical tinge to it. Their sex is consensual but rough; just the way Luke likes it. Being able to trust Ben and give himself over opened Luke’s mind and helped the repressed memories in his brain come out.

Ben knows what Luke needs and wants as well. When the truth behind Luke’s repressed memories are revealed they have a mind blowing sex scene in a rundown motel. Luke’s orgasm is so intense he almost passes out. These scenes had a purpose more than mere titillation; they were conscious acts on my part to move the story along.

In Bartender, PI there was only one small sex scene at the very beginning and the first time the main characters, Linc and Brady, have sex it isn’t shown on the page. Still stinging from the negative comments about the quantity of sex in my books, I attempted to cut back on sex in my stories. As much as I loved writing Linc and Brady, leaving out the sex between them was as bad as adding sex just for the sake of it. I think Linc and Brady should’ve had a sex scene; maybe they’ll get one in the sequel. I believe showing their lovemaking would’ve been a perfect ending and not having one was a mistake. Purposely not adding a sex scene even though one was called for was hard for me as an author because I was not following my muse. In fact, I think doing that must’ve pissed off my muse because she’s been pretty scarce lately.

In all of my soul searching, I realized something. I’m a lot like Cristian when it comes to sex, minus the abusive past. I like sex, a lot. When I’m in a relationship I like to have sex as much as possible. When I’m not in a relationship, I like to have sex as much as possible; it just makes it more difficult to find decent partners. Like Cristian I think sex is like money, you can never have too much.

I have said I’m a horndog. I admit it and I own it.

As an author, I’m a horndog as well. I like to write sex scenes. It helps me connect to the characters better than any other way. Sex is when I’m most vulnerable so I see my characters in the same way. They are stripped down to their basic core and I’m able to understand what drives them and what motivates them. Preferably, in sex there are no masks or delusions. It’s about getting what you want while at the same giving your partner pleasure.

I’ve decide to celebrate my author horndoggedness. If I think a story needs a sex scene, I’ll add it. If I write a story that doesn’t need a sex scene, I’ll go with that too. I won’t add a sex scene just for the hell of it, but neither will I not add a scene just to prove I don’t need sex in a story.

Basically, I’ll listen to my muses. If he’s a horny muse, so be it. And if the muse is celibate, then the story will be as well.

Just as I can accept that I’m a horndog in real life, I can also accept that there’s not a thing wrong with writing smoking hot sex scenes.

Ethan Stone

In the Flesh: Reno Detective Cristian Flesh lives his life by a strict set of personal rules, preferring one-time flings and anonymous encounters to committed relationships. His rules work for him... until his life is turned upside down when first, a former lover, a famous televangelist, is attacked, and then one of his one-night stands is murdered, making Cristian the prime suspect.

When handsome lawyer Colby Maddox takes his case, Cristian finds himself wanting to break all his rules about relationships. The instant attraction between them is undeniable. But before they can contemplate any kind of future together, they’ll have to clear Cristian’s name by finding the real murderer.

** Ethan Stone lives in Nevada. But not Reno or Las Vegas. There are other cities there, you know. Where he lives, gambling isn't on every block, just every other block. He has been obsessed with two things in his life: books and all things gay. After spending years trying to ignore the voices in his head, he finally decided to sit down and listen to them. What he discovered was a perfect union of his two obsessions. Ethan has a day job that pays the bills. He wears a uniform to work and he looks damn sexy in it.